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Tolkienian
Rhapsody
(to the tune of "Bohemian Rhapsody")
Hobbiton, Shire
Starts out our fantasy
When old Bilbo Baggins
Turned one and eleventy
To their surprise, he'd put on the Ring and
leave
Frodo got Bag End, service of Sam Gamgee
And then it's Gandalf come, Gandalf go,
All confused poor Frodo
Then there came the Nazgul and they had to leave
for Bree,
For Bree
Pippin, and Merry, too
Got swallowed by a tree but Tom came and set them
free
Ghosties got them in the Downs
And Bombadil would save their butts again
Gandalf, ooh, didn't meet them at the inn
So Strider took them off to Rivendell
Where they'd meet all the elves, but wraiths got
'em at Amon Sul
(Frodo:) "I'm cold, my shoulder's
numb"
Sent Frodo on a horse, made it to the Ford of
course
In the House of Elrond they patched him up
And had a talk to see about the Ring
Mordor, ooh, that's where they had to go
Hobbits, Gandalf, two men, dwarf and elf
Next day the Fellowship takes a mountain
path
Caradhras, Caradhras, will it kill the Nine
Walkers?
Avalanche and stone fall, very, very frightening
all
Galadriel (Galadriel) Galadriel (Galadriel)
Galadriel's not in this part
But still, take hea-a-a-art
"Let's go to Moria," offered up Gimli
There, off in Moria, Gimli had family
Frodo was grabbed by a monstrosity
Balrog comes, Gandalf goes, off the bridge we
go
Lothlorien! No, the dwarf does not think so
(Let's not go!) Lothlorien! Haldir won't let them
go
(Ask Frodo!) Lothlorien! Haldir won't let them
go
(Let's not go!) Will not let them go
(Ask Frodo!) Will not let them go (Let us go!)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Galadriel, Galadriel gave Legolas a spiffy bow
And Celeborn has some nice gifts set aside for me!
And me! And me!
(Boromir:) "So you think you can shoot me
and steal the small guys?
So you think you can shoot me and leave me to
die?"
(Sam:) "Mr. Frodo, can't leave me behind
Frodo
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right down to
Mordor"
(Frodo:) "Nothing really matters, just
destroy the Ring
I don't think we'll make it, but Sam I am glad
you're with me"
Next comes The Two Towers ...
Scruffy Son of
Arathorn
(to the tune of "Princes of the Universe")
Heeere I am, born to be King,
I'm the scruffy son of Arathorn
In Rivendell I was raised by elves
But back then I was called Estel ... yeah!
And here I am, with Frodo, Merry, Pip and
Sam
Off to Mordor, fighting against Nazgul
We've come to throw the Ring into Mount Doom!
I'm heir to Gondor, I have inside me blood of
Kings
At 87, no man can be my equal
We protect the future of the world!
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Minion Medley
(to the tune of "We Will Rock You/We Are the
Champions")
Stomp stomp clap, stomp stomp clap, stomp
stomp clap, stomp stomp clap
I'm an Uruk-hai, I'm a mean guy
Running in the woods, gonna eat some man flesh
today!
Got hands on my face, I'm a big disgrace to my
ancestors of the elven race!
We are fighting Uruks!
We are fighting Uruks!
I'm an Uruk-hai, I make men die
Chasing hobbits down, gonna kick some man ass
today!
Got blood on my face, laying waste, tearing down
trees all over the place!
We are fighting Uruks!
We are fighting Uruks!
I'm an Uruk-hai, arrow in my eye
Fighting with an elf, gonna get that bitch back
someday!
Got paint on my face just in case somebody thinks
they're gonna put me into my place!
We are fighting Uruks!
We are fighting Uruks!
Stomp stomp clap, stomp stomp clap, stomp
stomp clap, stomp stomp clap
......
When I once lived I was a king
Things have gone badly since I took that damn
ring
I should have been wary instead
But I succumbed to the Dark Lord's foul plot, and
now I'm undead!
And now I ride on and on and on and on
We are the Nazgul, my friends
And we chase that hobbit from Bag End
We are the Nazgul, we are the Nazgul
Seeking the One Ring `cause we are the Nazgul
We're the Nine
I went to the Shire and followed to Bree
I had `em cornered atop Amon Sul `til Strider set
fire to me
And it wasn't much fun now, racing to the Ford
It was even worse to head back to Mordor and tell
the Dark Lord!
And we ride on and on and on and on
We are the Nazgul, my friends
And we chase that hobbit from Bag End
We are the Nazgul, we are the Nazgul
Seeking the One Ring `cause we are the Nazgul
We're the Nine
Elven Queen
(to the tune of "Killer Queen")
She keeps her granddaughter Arwen
When she comes from Rivendell
"Let's eat lembas" she said
Voice deep, but like a bell
Deftly and nimb'ly
She made her mark on Gimli
At any time in Lorien
The sun will shine
Meriadoc, Peregrin
See what trouble they get in
Galadriel's still nice
She's an elven queen
First we all thought she was mean
But her gifts are really keen
Guaranteed to read your mind
Anytime
Ooh, mirror's visions have a price
Not every image comes to light
Wanna try?
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