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Rejected
Merchandising Ideas for Lord of the Rings
5) Mount Doom Garbage Can: "Now you can throw
your trash into a firey crack, just like Frodo
plans to do with the One Ring!"
4) Chia Troll: "Just add water and watch moss
and vines overtake these once-frightening monsters!
But don't touch the planter, or *you'll* turn to
stone, too!"
3) Fifty Simple Things You Can Do To Save
Middle-Earth, by Legolas Greenleaf: "#27: Always
recycle your arrows ..."
2) Prancing Pony Supersized Stein: "Your
friends' eyes will pop out as they ask, 'It comes
in 44 oz.?' Great for ale *or* grape soda pop!"
1) The One Ring: "Startle your friends! Get out
of tight spots! Slowly turn into a hideous shadow
of your former self!" (Author's note: I realize you
can buy a replica of the One Ring. I'm talking
about the one that caused all the trouble.)
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